unfamiliar neighborhoods

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:54:07 GMT

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2009/news/0908/gallery.Class_of_2009_job_search/index.html

basically the story of my life right now. I guess it's good to know I'm not alone, at least.

fuq da haters

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 15:20:13 GMT

It's kind of bittersweet, kind of yucky when you realize that a person who you thought was so great isn't really. that you just put them on this huge pedestal but that's all it was, just an imaginary elevation. I feel like maybe I told myself these stories because I kind of needed it. but I ignored all the not-so-great things and so when I was finally able to wipe away the lens I was almost embarrassed by how much the real person failed to live up to my fantasy. I guess I used the fantasy to fill up some kind of hole, but at least I realized it. (yes, I know this is intentionally vague.)

In the same way it's also kind of heartbreaking to realize that a person whom you put a lot of energy and affection into maybe didn't deserve it. that there were some good things but in the end the bad outweighed the good. it can be so hard to know, though, how to measure those things, how to determine whether someone is worth it or not.

Also, I've been stuck in this kind of limbo so I've been thinking about the future a lot. one thing I know, that I've known for a long time, is that I really want to succeed in whatever I do. It's a drive I have. and if not succeed in the traditional sense, at least feel happy and true to myself in whatever I'm doing. this desire is mostly for personal satisfaction and self-expression, but there's also a large part of me that feels this need because I feel that if I succeed, in whatever way, I'll have proven something to anyone who ever doubted me or thought I was weird or who thought they were better than me. I know that's a pretty poor motivation, but it does drive me. I guess I am partly just a bitter bitch.

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 03:45:44 GMT

i have no ambitions | ellen kennedy

i don't want to hate the president

i don't want to go to harvard

i don't want to win the pulitzer prize

i just want to sit in my bathtub

and think about relationships i will never have

with people i will never meet

and then go lay in my bed

with a magnifying glass

and count all the stiches in my sheets

until i fall asleep

and wake up

to repeat again.

Yep

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 00:31:59 GMT

www.toothpastefordinner.com

eee

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:14:03 GMT

It has been reported that some victims of torture, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not wake up.

In this catatonic state, the victim lived in a world just like their normal one, except they weren’t being tortured.

The only way that they realized they needed to wake up was a note they found in their fantasy world.

It would tell them about their condition, and tell them to wake up.

Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and

please wake up

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 01:07:15 GMT

I've recently started watching 30 Rock and I love it, it's so funny. I really love Alec Baldwin's character on there, he and Liz Lemon have such great chemistry. I've actually been having dreams about Alec Baldwin/Jack Donaghy lately. There's something sooo attractive about him, his arrogant attitude with a little bit of sweetness thrown in. And he's really physically attractive too. It's kind of a weird crush, though.

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 03:32:46 GMT

Obama being President finally feels real. The sound of "President Obama" feels so good. It was amazing to see that huuuge crowd on TV. The oath of office was amazing to witness and finally cemented that Bush is gone. It feels almost unreal, I guess since Bush had been president for almost half of my life (well, that I can remember). Now he's finally gone. One of my favorite part of Obama's speech was him saying "we refuse to believe that we should have to choose between our safety and ideals" (or something like that). A truly American way of looking at things. I know he's given us a lot of big expectations, and things won't change overnight, but I'm very optimistic about his economic plan. At the very least, he's attempting to do something, instead of just sitting back and letting greed run wild, and at the same time, he's doing something about the environment, instead of sitting back and watching it get ruined and exploited for greed. I liked his message of responsibility - we have to achieve ourselves what we want done, and we all have a responsibility to each other. That is the essence of America, I think. His vision of America is far more inclusive, and real, than the Republican small-town, white, church-goin' fantasy. It's a vision I'm proud to be of. And I love his family! The girls are so cute, and Michelle is fierce. Confident, intelligent, successful, sexy yet modest. Her and Barack seem to truly be partners, equals, and in love. What a great First Family.

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:42:31 GMT

"Learning to listen to one's conscience and to react to it does not lead to any smug and lulling 'peace of mind' or 'peace of soul.' It leads to peace with one's conscience - not a passive state of bliss and satisfaction but continuous sensitivity to our conscience and the readiness to respond to it." - Erich Fromm, Psychoanalysis and Religion

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 18:29:06 GMT

Some songs I am currently enjoying:
"Kids" - MGMT
"Kim and Jessie" - M83 (omg)
anything by My Bloody Valentine (always and forever)

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:01:54 GMT

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but youre older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 04:58:19 GMT

"Wisdom comes with winters."
Oscar Wilde

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:52:35 GMT

I am overjoyed by the election results and so proud of our country, that so many voters cared and were able to look past racial, and in many cases, partisan divides and elected a man who got to where he is today without family connections and who is intelligent, thoughtful, and willing to listen. I am also sooo happy that Florida is BLUE!!!! The only disappointment is that Amendment 2 (meant to ban gay marriage) passed here :( And it looks like Prop 8 might pass in California. But still, it feels amazing to be part of such a historic moment.

Oh, and it was so cute how Obama said he's going to get his girls a puppy for the White House.

Yes We Can

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:26:15 GMT

Ahhhh I'm so nervous and excited about today. I mean, it seems pretty evident that Obama is most likely going to win, but it's not over until it's over. I just want to knowww and I hope it's a sweep. I really, really hope Florida votes Democratic, that would be awesome. I love how everyone I've seen today has been so energized, it feels like a holiday. Ughhh can't wait. I'm sick of all this socialist shit. I don't see anything wrong with fair taxes and the rich can afford to pay more. This idea of trickle-down economics needs to be given up. And even though McCain made that pathetic attempt to pander to women, Obama/Biden is the true ticket that promotes women's rights. This country needs a president who is intelligent, thoughtful, and reasonable, someone willing to try new ideas but still listen to others' opinions. I'm ready for change!!!!

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:42:33 GMT

obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama obama

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:59:53 GMT

I feel mentally exhausted. Guh, this break can't come soon enough. One more class and one more test to go.

For all the Joe Six-packs out there

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:37:34 GMT

This is a really good article from Rolling Stone about Sarah Palin: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/23318320/mad_dog_palin

An excerpt:

"And if she's a good enough likeness of a loudmouthed Middle American archetype, as Sarah Palin is, John Q. Public will drop his giant-size bag of Doritos in gratitude, wipe the Sizzlin' Picante dust from his lips and rush to the booth to vote for her. Not because it makes sense, or because it has a chance of improving his life or anyone else's, but simply because it appeals to the low-humming narcissism that substitutes for his personality, because the image on TV reminds him of the mean, brainless slob he sees in the mirror every morning.

Sarah Palin is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the modern United States. As a representative of our political system, she's a new low in reptilian villainy, the ultimate cynical masterwork of puppeteers like Karl Rove. But more than that, she is a horrifying symbol of how little we ask for in return for the total surrender of our political power. Not only is Sarah Palin a fraud, she's the tawdriest, most half-assed fraud imaginable, 20 floors below the lowest common denominator, a character too dumb even for daytime TV — and this country is going to eat her up, cheering her every step of the way. All because most Americans no longer have the energy to do anything but lie back and allow ourselves to be jacked off by the calculating thieves who run this grasping consumer paradise we call a nation."

This is what really bothers me about Palin being a VP candidate. It's just beyond my understanding how so many people can like her, regardless of their political affiliations. It horrifies me that some people like her simply because she's "one of them." Is that really a reason to vote for someone? And shouldn't we want someone who's more intelligent and more knowledgable than us in that high position? The whole purpose of a leader is he or she is above average. That's part of why I like Obama so much. He seems deeply intelligent, knowledgable, and thoughtful. But like the above writer said, one's vote shouldn't be based on personality. It should be based on the issues, the things that actually affect us every day.

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:11:07 GMT

I feel so invisible.

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 04:45:36 GMT

I'm sick of feeling overwhelmed. Literally. I feel like I'm making myself sick with stress. It's not even really stress from anything specific, it's more like a general feeling that's so hard to push away. Unrelated to that, I'm so tired of feeling undesirable. Fuuuuuck it all.

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:08:02 GMT

Because of this tropical storm it's been raining nonstop for the last three days. Just relentless rain and gray skies, I feel like I haven't seen the sun in such a long time. It's like being in some kind of weird twilight zone with no sense of time.

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:14:55 GMT

I saw Tropic Thunder yesterday and it was hilarious. It was goofy, cynical, but still a little sweet, and the satire was right on. I know it's kind of had some controversy because of the actors within the movie portraying a different race or a mentally handicapped person, but those parts were really funny and it was pretty obvious that it was making fun of actors trying to get attention through those types of roles and the stereotypes we have about race and the mentally handicapped. I like that it makes you think about that stuff. It's annoying when people jump all over that stuff because it's un-PC without realizing the target is really the people dumb enough to think those stereotypes are real. I really like Ben Stiller's sense of humor, how he's able to mix the more intelligent satire with the more goofy Will Ferrel style of humor. I guess that's why I love Stephen Colbert too, though it also really annoys me when people don't realize he's making fun of conservatives. But anyway, I think Robert Downey Jr. was the best part of the movie, since he was kind of playing two parts at once. He is one attractive man, too, I loved him in Iron Man.

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 20:33:51 GMT

To see the earth as it truly is, small and blue
and beautiful in that eternal silence where it floats
is to see ourselves as riders on the earth together,
brothers on that bright loveliness in the eternal cold -
brothers who know now they are truly brothers.

Archibald MacLeash

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 14:37:56 GMT

Sleeping in the Forest by Mary Oliver

I thought the earth remembered me,
she took me back so tenderly,
arranging her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds.
I slept as never before, a stone on the river bed,
nothing between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated light as moths
among the branches of the perfect trees.
All night I heard the small kingdoms
breathing around me, the insects,
and the birds who do their work in the darkness.
All night I rose and fell, as if in water,
grappling with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 01:13:56 GMT

"One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever come to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp of smoke from the chimney and continue on the way."

Vincent van Gogh

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 04:32:22 GMT

This is where I'd like to be.

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 16:15:43 GMT

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Eleanor Roosevelt

It's kind of cheesy but I need to keep this in mind. It really is true.